Recognition is not a violation of giving without asking anything in return, it is merely an appreciation that everyone needs and thrives on.

 

I know so much more than you think I do.

This June holiday was awesome enough : )

Although it sucks right now to be rushing studying for CTs, I half-regret, half-don't regret. I wouldn't want to waste my whole holidays studying, that would make me feel like my life is so meaningless.

This holiday was great time spent with friends : ) Although I was freaking tired on the day at Brian's house, I still enjoyed myself much. Felt so much like family to be with all of them. Studying, talking rubbish occassionally, mass Typing Maniac (very no life I know hahaha but it's addictive), watching Lords of War, sleeping, making breakfast etc. Although we didn't get to make our scrapbook, we can make it some other day when everyone's around and we don't have to be fretting about CTs! I will miss all of you when school starts, which is actually in a few hours time. I doubt we will have relay messages because all of us are having exams >: ( Which is actually not so bad cause we can go home after exams :D (Other than the fact that it is going to feel so bad having to sit there for 1 or 2 hours feeling dumb and helpless.)

I like staying over randomly at BBF's house too, talking, studying which eventually ends up in talking, eating garlic bread at 4am, watching videos etc. Visiting beloved friends at their flea market booth, walking around in the extremely stuffy place, buying cheap stuff, then going to BBF's house to have unplanned stayover.

Whatever it is, I don't regret anything that I've done this holidays. So I'm happy : D

Still think CTs in the middle of the year right after holidays are stupid. They don't mean what they say. Holidays are meant for you to get away from school and have fun. They should just call it a study break if they want us to study. Then after they do that, they realize that the only true 'holiday' we have are the holidays after O levels. The rest of our education life is just school, study break, school, study break. Our lives are sad, we should petition for absolute block out from school and all school activities in school holidays. That's what holidays are meant for anyways.

Peace out, CTs in.

Although my stupid headache plagued me from 1pm-6am, I was very very happy yesterday 

Honestly, I really gave up hope and the thought that I would be posting such a post or experiencing such a thing. It seemed mildly possible to me, seeing the way we were changing so quickly. Things have been going down ever since Brave Souls broke up. We were uncomfortable with all the new unfamiliar people coming in, but I'm really very happy to have all of you now. In the past, I was sure I wouldn't be saying something like that because we kept telling ourselves, Brave Souls is gone and such a big group will never feel the same. But all of you proved me wrong really. Now it's like happiness doubled.

I said I'm happy that we're making a U-turn. Actually we aren't, we're not turning back. Nobody can turn back time, and everything else. We're moving forward, and that's even better actually.

It feels really really good. You know how we always used to say that friends were like our foundation, something for us to fall back on when everything else goes wrong. Through this whole period, we were still each other's foundation, just that we were clouded by so many things like new things to try, more adventurous things to do, the thrill in pushing the limits further and further. It's all part of growing up I agree (that's why I never nag much okay haha). Now that some of us fell, it made us all realize that we were all still there to catch each other. And it feels great to be reassured that all of you are still here, the same way you all used to be. The last time I felt like that, was before Brave Souls broke up, which is like what, eons ago (around Sec 3?).

All of us are so different. Korwoong who has warped humour (ha ha) RC, laugh. Justin Kor and Norman, who are obsessed with doing bicep curls. Weiping and Junwen who would do anything to keep their long hair. Ahmad who has countless classic moments. Minghong's "You pay half then you eat" haha. Brian's weird jokes and laughter. Chishun's letter and speeches (that are awesome). Joseph's weird reactions. Brandan's weirdness and innate capability to detach himself from whatever's happening haha. And me being a carebear (according to Junwen) and an annoying and restricting naggy bitch. But yet, there's something in us that's so alike. Something in us that's so different from everyone else. I spent practically my whole teenage life with you people, and I'm happy I did.

It felt really bad when I knew most of you did not agree with me about the things we were doing and the way we were changing. I thought all of you changed so much that we didn't know each other anymore. But I was really touched yesterday when Chishun read the part about hoping I was smiling at that point in time. I was. I'm sorry if I lost faith in you all at any point in time, whatever has happened and whatever will happen in the future will only serve to make our friendship stronger.

I feel so liberated and I haven't said this in a LONG LONG time but,
I love my friends

I love all of you, and there's no longer a need to compare to the past, I love you all even more than before now.

I'm home.

I miss St. Nicks ) :

Went back today to help out in cheer. I miss cheer quite a bit. Green Vegas was awesome even though I didn't talk much during pracs and stuffs, it was great memories that I would keep with me forever.  Green Grecians ( is that how you spell it) was fun too : ) With Nat, Jan and all. Then Green Garrison, experience of a lifetime. Like seriously. Great turning point in my life. It was emo shit no joke, but I learnt so much out of it and all the lessons I learnt has brought me through many things that happened. So I'm glad I got to be captain, since there wasn't house cheer in Sec 4. So technically, if I didn't take it up in Sec 3, I wouldn't ever have the chance to. Wasn't very nice to feel all alone, but 4Faith made me feel better : ) All the nice awesome encouraging classmates I had. Miss them much too. Can't wait for Sunday!!! Although I'm very lazy to drag myself to the airport. I wonder how Krislyn has been. Wonder how Zhiyan's doing also actually.

St. Nicks feels like home really. Why must they PRIME it. Then it's just gonna turn out to be like some modern, hostile, cold school building, typically.

I don't know if anybody realized but it seems like as we grow older, places are seriously getting more and more unhomely. Like when I was in St. Nicks, I missed Kuochuan. Then now when I'm in Raffles, I miss St. Nicks. Grass is always greener on the other side. So should I start cherishing my time in Raffles now? Maybe after I move on, I'll miss it? But I doubt so, at least for now. JC is such an unfriendly creature.

Effects of globalization and modernization. Next time, schools will all be pink (homegenous products).

We should all spend a day together: 
-studying together in the day (since we have to incorporate studying no matter what we do)
-having a movie marathon in the night
-when we get sick of movies, talk about us (sometimes I really wonder whether we are all still on the same wavelength, I have a feeling we are losing touch of each other)
-play an innocent game of truth or dare with each other (worm dance and all, innocent things)
-fall asleep talking to and being honest with each other
-wake up the next morning and make breakfast together
-go cycling at East Coast, having innocent fun and forget about the world for 1 day/1 morning at least (that includes forgetting or rather not giving a damn that we have CTs right after holidays)

I don't mind failing CTs if we can spend a day like that together. Can we?

I just realized blogging sounds absolutely egoistic and weirdly emotional. Like, unnecessarily emotional. So is my life. An occasion to celebrate, hurray. Maybe here's when I should decide to stop thinking about everything and become a tuls or maybe a bitch, just something better than this over-sensitive, emotional yet helpless pathetic state right now. I should start shopping for dresses, make-up and 1000-inch heels. Or maybe going to Haji Lane will be more scene. Which one do you think is better?

Probably the one you need the least right now.

I HATE PMS.

Hi once again to my long-abandoned blog!

I feel so weird blogging, but felt like doing it, so

Days have flew pass like minutes, it's now only a few more weeks to Os. I don't know if I'm prepared or not, but I'm constantly reminding myself that it's coming soon.

Prelims are in a week's time. Scary.

Things have changed, very much. But I'm comfortable with things like that. In fact, more than comfortable.

Can't wait for Os to be over though. Even though after that I'll probably miss studying for Os and will probably feel very empty. But still, I'm sure the freedom will be absolutely sweet! Then, I can finally stone without feeling guilty. Stoning is the new hobby I've adopted this year.

Oh, and English oral is over. I should be happy. I was just rejoicing that day, because like, no more oral. But I just realized, there is still Japanese oral, which is like probably the worse. Damnnnnnnnnnnn, I need to buck up for my Japanese. Seriously, I want to do all I can for this prelims. Actually, I always have motivation to do well for Japanese, but it just never comes to action. I wonder why. Even when I put up all the vanguard stuffs, I don't even look at them. And when I realize prelims is coming, I try to look at them, but like, I just don't. Besta goddess has been used more for English than Japanese. It was definitely not a waste of money, because it really is very useful, but it's just not serving its intended purpose.

Then sometimes I feel like maybe I should just give up my Japanese, since it's like pretty hopeless already. And I might as well concentrate my energy & time to my other subjects. But, I don't like letting myself down. But then again, I don't even know whether I'm good at Japanese, or not. I mean, it's undeniable that I'm like the joke in class. Whatever I say sounds like nonsense, I know that too. Like, I feel like I'm talking nonsense. And it's not like I don't want to say something smart-sounding. It's just, I don't have anything smart to say. And I find myself the only one without the answer during listening compre. BALLZ. Where has the person who got 89/100 for Japanese overall in Sec 1 gone to.  I wonder, I always do.  I am going to study for Japanese. I will. I will. I will. Brainwash, brainwash.

And, I got my swivel chair, very happy

I should be typing "I got my shelf too, very very happy" now. But the Ikea guy just had to deprive me of my joy by typing in the wrong colour.

And I have been sleeping a lot these few days, which is good. (Even though I should be spending my time studying I know) But, at least I don't spend my whole day stoning now.

I finished all my Physics notes. I have about 5 chapters left for Chem. 3 chapters left for History. SS.. don't really know how much more. Maths I'll have to practise Statistics, Differentiation & Integration more. The rest I think I get the rough idea. What else. Mmmmm, English & Chinese, nothing much I can do, except get all the format right. Japanese......... .. . . .. .

Ooooooh laptop, laptop, I want my laptop. But I'll miss my desktop too. I like my keyboard. >: ( But my desktop's been dying on me.

Okay, don't feel like blogging anymore.

I  how things are.

 

Last thing I want to say to myself: Please buck up on your Japanese, please.